New York Nanny Center » motherhood

How to Balance Motherhood with the Rest of Your Life

Lindsay Bell — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 15:15:27 +0000

Undoubtedly motherhood is the most important and challenging job. Whether you stay-at-home or have returned to work, it’s a struggle to balance it all. Cue the mommy guilt. I have yet to meet a mother who hasn’t admitted that at some point she has felt overwhelmed, inadequate, or finds moments where she just wants to run screaming in the other direction!

How do I help my child become more independent without abandoning them? How do I support them without becoming a helicopter parent? How many books a day should I be reading them? Is that broccoli organic? Wait, your kid eats broccoli? Mine only eats granola bars or whatever else I can find at the bottom of my purse! Even when I appear to have my act together, my mind is constantly wondering and worrying about so many things. My goal at the end of each day is to get to dinnertime without opening (and finishing) a bottle of wine!

Comparing myself to other mothers reminds me of the Dove commercial where women are asked to describe themselves to an artist. Then they compare their view with the view of other women around them. We’re always our toughest critics. I often find myself wondering how I could have made Henry’s day better–should I have done more arts and crafts with him? Should I have let him watch t.v.? Is it strange that he can maneuver an iPad better than his Granny? (no comment there…) Should I have not gone back to work? When is the last time he took a bath? (sniff under his armpit). Going to the grocery store has turned into an Olympic event. Have you ever tried to cook dinner, clean the house, wipe fingerprints off of every surface, and sing a song at the same time? The answer is probably YES!

There are so many things I could find that I don’t do. What is most important is what I do for him each and every day. I love him. I make him laugh. I feed him better food than I feed myself. I dance with him. I’m there for him when he comes running up to give me a hug. I cheer him on while he tries to spoon feed himself. I wipe his tears when he’s hurt. I give him extra cuddles when he’s sick. At the end of the day, there’s only one opinion that matters, and that’s Henry’s. It appears that I’m doing an okay job because he still wants to hang out with me! (Check back in 13 years…)

-Maureen is a sitter2mom, our Chicago City Coordinator, and proud mother of Henry!

Time flies when you’re having…babies!

Lindsay Bell — Wed, 26 Feb 2014 16:49:41 +0000

I cannot believe my girls are 1 year old! The last year pretty much feels like a blur with glimpses of sleepless nights, giggles, dirty diapers, and cuddles. People have always told me that this happens and to cherish every moment. I could not stress this advice more. Things aren’t always easy when you have your first baby(s). You put a lot of stress on yourself to do everything right because you don’t know any better. I’ve been a perfectionist throughout this past year and have gotten down on myself a lot when things go a-rye. I’m slowly starting embrace the imperfections of motherhood, because honestly it’s the only way that you’ll make it out alive.

Enjoying their first birthday celebration

This has also given me a chance to sit back and let my babies by babies. It’s not time to plan for their college education, but to let them explore and make a mess. Watch them get sooo exited to play with the pots and the pans and make noise. These are the things that matter. So mommy’s: live in the moment and hold onto this time when you can still rock your baby(s) to sleep.

-Courtney is a mother of twins, former sitter2mom, and an original LLD sitter!

“It’s Amazing You All Survived”

Lindsay Bell — Wed, 06 Nov 2013 16:37:00 +0000

For me, my mother is and always has been a wealth of information on a variety of topics; since having my first child, she now more than ever is my first call for just about anything.

However, it is clear that quite a bit has changed since the day I was just a wee one. Tomorrow is my daughter’s 3-month “birthday” and as her “gift” we will be putting her in the crib for the first time. For the past 3 months she has been less than an arms length away from me in a bassinet so needless to say I think I am more nervous about the transition then she is. I digress though, so in preparation for moving her to the crib I have heard from countless friends/doctors to take out the bumpers (the very cute bumpers that really tie the room together if you ask me!) so that she does not suffocate.

This is where my mother comes in, and similar to other things that have changed since I was a baby she is confused and surprised that I have to take them out and instead just tells me repeatedly that I had bumpers in my crib as a baby and I survived! Another piece of advice she is pushing is to have my daughter sleep on her stomach, which I have also been told, is a big no no, but that my mother did with all 3 of her children all the time. And when I hear these conflicting pieces of advice I hear my mothers voice in my head saying, “it’s amazing you all survived!” Moving forward I will continue to take the advice of my pediatrician when it comes to my daughter’s safety, however, my mother will continue to be on speed dial for all other matters of motherhood.

-Samantha

New Year, New Baby!

Alison Gore — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 21:06:26 +0000

Happy New Year!! Like no other year before, my life is about to change in 2013 in ways I can’t even imagine…this month I am having a baby!! How does one prepare for that? Seriously. I was a baby, I have two younger sisters, heck I babysat as a kid in New Mexico but that’s when the rate was $1/hour!!! I mean, things have changed. There were no swaddles or Sophie the giraffe, there WERE crib bumpers and side rails that lowered, babies used to sleep on their bellies, pregnant moms ate all kinds of cheese and don’t even get me started on the OVERWHELMING number of stroller styles out there now! There is A LOT to learn!! And you know what everyone says when I say this? “You’ll know what to do.” Will I?!

I have read books, looked online, talked to moms, gone to each appointment prepared with lists of questions for my doctor, worked on a birth plan & labor comfort with our doula, kept a pregnancy journal and have taken pre-natal yoga, breathing & movement for labor & delivery, infant CPR, and baby care & feeding classes.

Infant CPR training was a MUST on my list for baby prep

All this prep, and still I wake up in the middle of the night afraid I haven’t prepared enough, going over my mommy to do list, uncertain of how I’ll balance motherhood, life and work, worried I won’t know when labor begins and on the subject of labor…WHAT ABOUT THAT!?!?!?

I’ve just finished meeting the other doctors in the practice and they always end the visit with “Do you have any questions?” YES!! How do I know when labor starts? What exactly does a contraction feel like? Will it hurt THAT much? How long will I be in labor? Can I handle this? Are you sure the pain goes away when I see my child for the first time? What’s the recovery like? But these aren’t questions my doctors or anyone can really answer for me. I simply have to trust that “I’ll know what to do.” That my team will know what to do…and my husband and I have assembled a GREAT team!

Best Teammate Ever!

We have a fantastic OBGYN, wonderful doula, amazing parents, supportive friends and family, and most importantly, each other. Anytime I worry (almost every day) my cool hubby calms me down…he is the yin to my yang. When I panic about labor breathing and cry out, “Are you sure we’ll know what to do? How are you going to tell me to breathe!?” He calmly says, “deeply.” When I show him my frantic three page to do list created at a sleepless 3am, he rationally goes down the list and shows me what we’ve done, what we’re working on and what is a frantically written non-essential written at 3 am. In infant CPR class, when we were learning how to give life saving back blows and I back blew my doll’s head off, he said, “Maybe not that hard.” He makes me laugh, and keeps me grounded and I am grateful everyday that I picked the right partner!

So as I enter these last four weeks of pregnancy, I am doing my best to stay calm and enjoy every moment, I am listening to my body and slowing down. Each day, I remind myself of a phrase told to me that brings me comfort, “My body knows what to do and my baby knows how to be born to me.” I know I don’t know everything there is to know about labor, delivery or most importantly, parenting, but I trust that those who have gone before me are right, “I will know what to do.”

–Jolynn Baca Jaekel has been a fitness professional for more than a decade, and is expecting her first child with husband Rob in January. She has joined forces with Lucky Lil’ Darlings to bring NY moms a weekly workout class with on-site childcare, intenSati for Mommies. Check out Jolynn’s class blog for more information on her classes and transition into motherhood!