The Problem: Children can be playing nicely together at a birthday party or event when suddenly a conflict arises. Or perhaps two children are sharing and enjoying each other’s company when one leans over and grabs a toy, pushes the other child, or bites the other’s arm.

The Solution: There are a few ways Ms. Rosenbloom suggests for teaching young children better and more genuine ways of handling these situations:

• Instead of asking children to say “I’m Sorry,” teach them to “check in” with the victim. They may ask them if they’re okay or if they need help getting up.

• Make sure your child waits and listens to the response instead of just asking the question and walking away.

• For older children, help them to identify the other child’s emotions. This can be done by helping them think of a time they felt the same. This will also give them an opportunity to think of realistic ways they can help the victim.

For more information about teaching your children about “I’m Sorry” and other alternatives, check out Ms. Rosenbloom’s article.

My pre-k’er NEVER listens! I’m losing my patience & don’t know what to do. Help!

-Cousin Kel 

Me and a feisty pre-k’er

Dear Cousin Kel,

Losing your temper with a child this age never works  & chances are you’ve tried the all-understanding patient approach. . . and STILL he/she does not follow your instruction.

Here are a few tips & tricks I’ve learned along the way to get your feisty pre-k’er to follow your lead:

• Come down to their level. Literally!  Get on your knees or squat down and use a very excited or goofy demeanor (whatever is your style). They will instantly be distracted by how silly you are acting, and will usually fall right in line with what you’re doing.
• Change the subject. Make what you are asking your child feel like they’re in on a fun task or secret, and not just “obeying” you. For instance, make picking up their art supplies a competition. Tell your child that you have to clean up before the buzzer goes off in 1 minute & start a countdown. Or, tell your child to head to the designated ‘secret spot’ when they are done. Watch how fast those supplies are picked up!
• Bribery. Yes, I know it sounds bad, but it works like a charm, and desperate times call for desperate measures. Are you planning on buying your child something new soon? A pair of shoes, a bike, some new activities? Plan ahead. If you are getting these things anyway- fill your child in, help them look forward to it, and remind them every morning that acquiring it will strictly be a result of good behavior that week.
• The Good Girl/Boy Chart.When all else fails, try a simple reward system. I have done this with Panini sticker books. It’s the modern-day version of collecting baseball cards, kids can fill pages containing images of their favorite cartoons or sports players with stickers. Let each day reward them up to 2 or 3 stickers before bedtime- but don’t give them out too freely & ensure your child earns them. Don’t hesitate to not give stickers if they were very poorly behaved that day-those stickers need to be well earned!

Hope these tricks help!

-LB