New York Nanny Center » balance

How to Balance Motherhood with the Rest of Your Life

Lindsay Bell — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 15:15:27 +0000

Undoubtedly motherhood is the most important and challenging job. Whether you stay-at-home or have returned to work, it’s a struggle to balance it all. Cue the mommy guilt. I have yet to meet a mother who hasn’t admitted that at some point she has felt overwhelmed, inadequate, or finds moments where she just wants to run screaming in the other direction!

How do I help my child become more independent without abandoning them? How do I support them without becoming a helicopter parent? How many books a day should I be reading them? Is that broccoli organic? Wait, your kid eats broccoli? Mine only eats granola bars or whatever else I can find at the bottom of my purse! Even when I appear to have my act together, my mind is constantly wondering and worrying about so many things. My goal at the end of each day is to get to dinnertime without opening (and finishing) a bottle of wine!

Comparing myself to other mothers reminds me of the Dove commercial where women are asked to describe themselves to an artist. Then they compare their view with the view of other women around them. We’re always our toughest critics. I often find myself wondering how I could have made Henry’s day better–should I have done more arts and crafts with him? Should I have let him watch t.v.? Is it strange that he can maneuver an iPad better than his Granny? (no comment there…) Should I have not gone back to work? When is the last time he took a bath? (sniff under his armpit). Going to the grocery store has turned into an Olympic event. Have you ever tried to cook dinner, clean the house, wipe fingerprints off of every surface, and sing a song at the same time? The answer is probably YES!

There are so many things I could find that I don’t do. What is most important is what I do for him each and every day. I love him. I make him laugh. I feed him better food than I feed myself. I dance with him. I’m there for him when he comes running up to give me a hug. I cheer him on while he tries to spoon feed himself. I wipe his tears when he’s hurt. I give him extra cuddles when he’s sick. At the end of the day, there’s only one opinion that matters, and that’s Henry’s. It appears that I’m doing an okay job because he still wants to hang out with me! (Check back in 13 years…)

-Maureen is a sitter2mom, our Chicago City Coordinator, and proud mother of Henry!

GO GO GO!!!

Lindsay Bell — Mon, 28 Oct 2013 16:41:40 +0000

In the hustle and bustle that is NYC we are often in a state of moving, planning, coordinating and executing! Parents and caregivers know this dance all too well! As parents strive to ensure their children are safe, eating healthy, getting adequate sleep, attending the best schools, and having frequent play dates, there is still more to do… There is afterschool, music, language, sports, art, cooking, gymnastics and dance… to name a few.

Lil’ ones enjoying some free time on the walk home from school

Let’s be honest, the kids in this city have a surplus of extracurricular opportunities and their schedules can sometimes require a team of people to execute. These activities require seamless logistical coordination, a variety of transportation options, wheels (stroller, scooter or bike) and snacks… not to mention multiple changes of clothes. We do all of this with the purpose of providing our children with exercise, socialization and enrichment. Parents are also aware that kids these days can be easily over scheduled and struggle to find the balance between opportunities and downtime.

Those of us who oversee or manage the day to day, here to there, back and forth ever changing schedule for these children know the endurance, patience and positive attitude it takes to navigate this city, anticipate the 4pm-no-taxi shift change, drop off/pick up, encourage exhausted, frustrated and hungry children, all in the name of opportunity. Not to mention the all too familiar days when the 1 train is “temporarily delayed due to an earlier investigation at Columbus Circle,” while it’s raining outside and getting a taxi is about as likely as winning the lottery. We hold it together because we are parents and caregivers and we know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

So…how can we find the balance? It depends on your family, children, their interests, your support system, what you can afford and how you want to generate downtime for your family. I say family, because we all need it. Parents, caregivers and kids!!! As adults we can communicate our needs but as children we are at the mercy of our grown-ups. Teaching our kids the importance of learning and socializing is just as important as teaching them how to pause, catch a breath, veg out and tap into their bliss.

My favorite memory of downtime as a child was when my mom and I would have “tickle time” it was a great break in the action! When she would announce, “Tickle Time” I instantly knew that meant ten minutes of serious fun! On the ground tickling, laughing, and utter silliness was the perfect way for my mom and I to release tension and share some really carefree moments. I looked forward to this one on one time I would spend with my busy, working, single parent mother. Other downtime ideas include: have a 5 minute dance party, coloring/crafts, music, reading, playing a game, or just zoning with some screen time (it’s ok)… The goal is to create space and autonomy so the child can express themselves how they need too. This will increase family bonding, self-esteem and confidence, independence, patience and some much needed breathing room in our busy on the go NYC lives…

-Ali Sheppard is our Nanny Placement Coordinator and the author of the latest installment in our “Chronicles of Modern Mary Poppins” series.

Post-Pregnancy Working Girl

Alison Gore — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 14:19:13 +0000

This is tough.

Yesterday was my first day back in the office from my maternity leave. The whole week prior I found myself crying sporadically thinking of having to leave my two little babies at home. Even the smallest things would set me off…a smile, greeting cards at Target…you name it. I should have had these babies in my husband’s motherland, Ireland, so I could have a nice 6 months off.

Wish I could stay home every day with her!

So yesterday morning I stared at Amelia & Ava for a good 10 minutes before having to pry myself away.

Had to tear myself away from this lil’ one

Once I got into work, I was welcomed by many familiar faces and was able to share several pictures of the girls and discussed parenthood with another mother of twins which made me feel at ease. Throw in some work, pumping, and lunch, and before I knew it the day was over! I left work in such a fury, running to make the 6PM train so I could hold those little ones in my arms and kiss their cheeks uncontrollably. Luckily, they were in good care of Mama Bell.

Mama Bell if you’re reading this…are you interested in coming on full time? Room & board, and baby love included ☺

-Courtney has been a part of LLD since nearly the beginning, she has babysat for over 5 years with our troupe & is a new mom. Courtney is the sister of the President of LLD & lives in New Jersey with her husband.

It “Only” Took Three Months

Alison Gore — Wed, 01 May 2013 15:23:49 +0000

Our daughter just turned three months old, and each time she does something spectacular like track an object with her eyes or make a cooing sound or reach for a toy, we write it on her calendar. You know, we’re tracking milestones. Well, this weekend I feel like we reached a milestone as a family. It took us three months, but we had what would be considered a normal weekend. Yay for us!

Our view in Central Park

We actually ate out in a restaurant together, we went to Central Park, everyone got a bath and whether it was drafting architectural plans, teaching a fitness class or holding yourself up on your forearms, everyone got some work done and still had time to play! It was a great weekend!!

I had forgotten what it felt like to successfully balance family, play and work…I’ve been on a steep learning curve and this felt like a win!

And the icing on the cake? I fit into a pair of my pre-pregnancy jeans!! I think I’ll go mark that on the calendar.

-Jolynn Baca Jaekel has been a fitness professional for more than a decade, and just had her first child with husband Rob in January. She has joined forces with Lucky Lil’ Darlings to bring NY moms a weekly workout class with on-site childcare, intenSati for Mommies. Check out her blog for more details on scheduling.

Why pay a membership for a sitter service?

Lindsay Bell — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 18:34:00 +0000

We often get asked, “Why should I pay a membership fee to hire asitter” and the answer is simple…

Mom and dad’s are very busy and juggling family, work, and life can be such adaily challenge. Add in trying to find trustworthy sitters through one’spersonal network, then screening those prospective sitters and the process canbe daunting.

Joining an elite company such as Lucky Lil’ Darlings (LLD) enables youto take the trouble, and hard work out of the mix. First and foremost,LLD is a trusted company that hand selects each sitter. In addition to findingtop-notch sitters, we conduct extensive screening, ensuring a properlybackground checked and college educated sitter. In addition, we have alsoperfected the LLD sitter match. We are experts at finding the rightsitter for your kids and ensure a fun, reliable addition to your family, makingthe process secure and painless.

Havinga reliable person you can speak with about your individual family needs alsoreally takes the pressure off. Sometimes you need to discuss options for yourchild-sitting needs. Whether you need a weekly sitter for date night, a holidaysitter for your next family vacation or just an extra set of hands on theweekends, LLD’s personal service really helps configure the best solution foryour family. We have loads of experienced sitters for all occasions: parties,vacations, corporate events etc, and we’ve seen it all. The level of experiencewe provide is hard to match, and as an LLD member you can tap into ourinformation anytime, with a quick call or email.

Another great benefit is being able to book sitters last minute. Even ifyour “regular” nanny/sitter is booked, LLD has an extensive databaseof amazing, available sitters, and can accommodate last minute requests: what’sbetter than that!?

Hereare some of the highlights to being an LLD member:

–LLD’s sitters are the best in the business and become true, long term rolemodels for your children.

–LLD provides a loyal and genuine local community for elite, urban families.Our families are friends, we have great local events that enable fun familynetworking, hearing about amazing local deals and being plugged in to awonderful group of mom and dad’s that like you are looking to engage.

–LLD’s Secure Screening Process is extensive, organized, and thorough toalways ensure your Lil’ Darlings arealways in the best of hands.

–LLD’s core mission is to provide the utmost highest quality of family caresolutions in a convenient & efficient manner. We have the reputationin the business for finding the best childcare providers for your family.

–LLD’scomprehensive suite of family care offerings reduces daily stress for busy,modern families. You tell us what you need and we do all the work!

-LB

Bring Back Family Dinners!

Lindsay Bell — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:30:00 +0000

By AllisonBrooks

This is the 21st Century! Home ofthe overworked, underpaid, tired and in dire need of “me” time.Parents, children, husbands, wives and extended family are become isolated fromeach other, due to disparate schedules, after school activities, work and amyriad of other reasons. These days, people go to the nearest drive thru andeat on the run, order takeout and plop down on the counter, or use convenienceand processed foods to prepare some semblance of a meal.

Family dynamics may have changed in the past 50 years, but the inherent desireto hold the family together still remains important. Circumstances mightindicate that the concept of family is disintegrating and that may be the casefor some people. The simple fact is that we are human and we need each other. Away that we can keep our family units strong and together is to sit togetherand to eat together. We need to nourish not only our bodies, but also ourminds, spirits and souls.

Research has shown that families that make the time to have dinner together arehappier, stronger and better prepared to negotiate life’s difficulties. Eatingtogether is a mutually beneficial experience for adults and children. Sittingand enjoying a meal together promotes open communication, better appetites anda more positive outlook on life. This is why many RD’s and nurses recommend afamily meal at least once a day. Not only in the home but facilities likenursing homes and cancer facilities ask families to visit to have a mealtogether. Since the idea of a short life-expectancycan make one feel isolated, a family meal makes them feel closer and more atpeace.

If you have not engaged in thispractice, there is no better time than now. Getting everyone together to eatwithout distractions is going to take inner strength and resilience, but onceyou overcome the objections and excuses, your loved ones will start comingaround. In fact, your family might even look forward to the familymeal time.

There are both extrinsic and intrinsic benefits for eating together. Decidetoday that you will make the time and a lovingly prepared meal for your family.Everyone will thank you.

New Way to Bring Balance to Your Family

Lindsay Bell — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:21:00 +0000

Della Clark,former Division I NCAA All-American, uses the power of sports to empowerchildren and teach them lifelong values.

I recently sat down with Della, who is also a certified Reiki Practitioner.Reiki is the Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that allowsone to manifest a life of happiness, harmony and health.

Her number one goal no matter who she works with is to help them create a lifeoverflowing with happiness, health and harmony. The former All-American usesthe power of sports and Reiki to empower children. Reiki is a simple, naturaland safe method of healing that works with the body, emotions, mind and spirit.Through speaking with Della one can really see her passion for helping othersand the positive effects Reiki has had on the families she has workedwith. Each family is creating a healthier, more organized and calm householdfor their children.

Through Della’s many years in competitive sports she truly learned of the power athletics has to contribute to a well balanced life. “Participationin sports transcends cultures, background and situations to teach us healthy competition, equality and sportsmanship,” said Della.

Della helps families create opportunities to involve their children in sports andteach them lifelong lessons.

For more info contact Della at del.clark864@gmail.com

Reliable Childcare Makes for a Well Balanced Family

Lindsay Bell — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:12:00 +0000

Childcare is an investment. I realize that on every level andI’m not yet a mother. It is timely. Itis a financial commitment. Click hereto read Denise Schipani’s post on Daily Worth, she spent over $80,000 onchildcare while her children were growing up and she says it was worth everypenny. Finally, it is an emotional commitment. But in the end, done right, itmakes for a happier, healthier and better balanced family.

The trick is finding the best childcare that works for yourfamily. And how may one go around doing that? Clickhere for my tips, as featured on The Healthy Elements Blog, on finding reliable childcare for you!

-LB