It takes a village….

It’s true!  Now, that village does not have to be family, but if you’ve got it close by, lucky you!  We moved to be closer to ours and it is wonderful, but I’ve also discovered the power of moms’ groups.  As soon as we got here, I joined the neighborhood MOMs club and searched Meet Up for every mom’s group in the area with similarly aged children.  A new parent thinks their child’s sleep, eat and poop habits are fascinating, but your friends without children will not.  I’m not saying dump your friends, just expand your circle.  Believe me, you NEED someone to talk with about these things because it’s helpful to see what’s working or not for others.  It’s also good for your sanity!  Finding parents of similarly aged children is key because when it comes time to get together, a 15 month old naps very differently than a four month old (do four month olds even nap?!) and if your kids can enjoy similar activities, it makes a nicer get together for parents too!

Let something go….

To make space for something new, we must let something go.  It’s a rule I’ve never been able to follow with shoes, but I have whole heartedly adopted with parenthood!

So that I may be the type of parent I want to be, there are simply not enough hours in the day to do all of the things I did before Parker was born.  This is not just because I was in perpetual motion before she came with a to-do list that was always a mile long. This is simply reality.  It’s also true that I would RATHER play with her, teach her, nourish her, love her than do certain other things I filled my day with before she was born.  Parenthood forces you to prioritize and that’s a good thing.

Write it down NOW….

I always heard to write down your birth experience as soon as possible even if you’re tired, because you will forget it quickly and you’re not going to get more rest anytime soon.  So true!  What I hadn’t read about was quickly recording Parker’s experiences.

One of the best gifts my mom gave us was a calendar to keep in Parker’s room so that as she did things liked smile for the first time, roll over, eat solids, sit up, etc. we would have an easy place to quickly record it.  Every day she does something I want to remember and if I waited to put it neatly in her baby book, it would never happen! She is learning things so quickly and changing so fast, that I don’t want to miss a moment.

Be flexible….

I love a good list and a well constructed plan, but babies could care less about those things!  Can I just tell you about my thorough birth plan?!  However, my daughter had her own idea about how and when things would go down, and that is pretty much the story of my life now.  I plan activities all the time for us, but I don’t get too attached to them because I know that a nap or lack thereof or a mood or an explosive diaper could change everything.  Guess what?  I’m ok with that because I chose this life!

Relax and enjoy…

BEST. ADVICE. EVER!!

-Jolynn Baca Jaekel has been a fitness professional for more than a decade. Her first child, Parker,  just turned a year old this January. Jolynn, her husband Rob, and Parker recently relocated from NYC to Washington D.C.

• “Once you see your child’s face, you don’t remember the pain of labor.”

I heard this one over and over and I thought, no way is this true!  I’ve seen those movies of women screaming and sweating…you can’t block that out.  Guess what?  You can!  Just last week I was recounting my birth experience (to a friend who asked for it….don’t worry, I don’t just go around town sharing the gritty details) and when I finished, my friend said she was sorry I had such a horrible time of it.  You know what I thought?  You got it!  Did I have a horrible time? All I remember is that my parents made it to the hospital from across the country just in time for my daughter’s birth. I can still see my husband’s face right next to mine coaching me along the way and holding my hand every moment. And I will never forget the first time I saw my daughter’s little face or felt her on my chest in the moments after she was born. That’s what I remember….the waiting, the pain, the worry….that was forgotten the instant she came into the world.

• “Get your rest now, because once that kid comes, you won’t get any.”

Anyone who knows me, knows I have never been a big sleeper, so I figured the lack of sleep everyone warned me about wouldn’t be so tough….WRONG!! I have never, EVER been so tired in all my life as the first weeks of motherhood. Waking up every three hours is exhausting in a way I have never experienced before. It’s not just wake up and go back to sleep, it’s wake up and be responsible for a tiny life and stay alert for about an hour and then try and go back to sleep so you can do it all again in an hour and a half….because it’s three hours from the time you woke up not the time you go back to sleep! It is just “try” to go to sleep too because there are all these sounds a newborn makes that worry a first time parent that she’s not breathing or starting to wake or choking or…..the list is endless. However, as tired as I was, as soon as she looked up at me with her big bright eyes, my heart melted. There is no amount of sleep I would trade for those moments.

Ten perfect toes!

•  “There is no love quite like the love a mother feels for her child.”

From the moment I saw my daughter, I was completely in love with her in a way I can’t explain. Before she came, I was worried I was too selfish to have a child, too happy with the life my husband and I created together, worried that I would miss being able to just “go” in a moment’s notice. Let me tell you, I have never been happier, more proud of anything I have done in my life and more content to just be still. Every time I look at her I cannot believe we created this perfect little human. My heart expands and my eyes well up with love…she is amazing. I know this word is overused, but bringing a life into the world is really amazing and the fact that she’s perfect is even more amazing! I am happy to make sure she is fed, changed and dressed before I even brush my teeth, now my husband and I have fun at the baby store as a family or giving our daughter a bath, and there is no place I’d rather be than looking into those bright eyes and seeing her recognize me with a big toothless smile. Yes, life totally changes, but change is GREAT!

So, now with ten weeks’ experience under my belt, I pass on the same words of wisdom to future moms. And guess what? There’s another one in our family….next month my little sister brings another amazing life into the world. Hope you’re sleeping sister!

–Jolynn Baca Jaekel has been a fitness professional for more than a decade, and just had her first child with husband Rob in January. She has joined forces with Lucky Lil’ Darlings to bring NY moms a weekly workout class with on-site childcare, intenSati for Mommies. This month, Jolynn will be bringing back her mommy workout class with on site childcare from LLD, check out her blog  blog for more details!